5 Simple Rules For…

One of the most important things you can do for your band is to give it a crowning name of awesome. Your name is you, your fans, your music, everything! So do yourself a favor and think about it for a second. And if need be, take a look at a few tips for Naming Your Indie Rock Band.

Google It. 
Believe it or not, someone else may have come up with the name Satan’s Spawn from the Necks of Youth. Or even worse, you may end up with a name that is nearly un-Googleable. Example: Television. Yes, they came up with that long before any of us had heard of the Google monster but that still doesn’t change the fact that instead of Tom Verlaine you get a nice LG 32″.

Glory.

Posters, Buttons, and Displays
This one is more about practicality than anything. How would your name look on a button? Would you have to resort to abbreviations or simple pictures instead? How about on the 40 Watt marquee? Remember that your future fans will only get a brief glimpse of your name on which they will judge everything about you. It is important that your name sound good, look good, and provide a draw.

“Free Beer” will work once before the all the venues will want to kill you.

Know The Trends.
Ever notice how all of a sudden a ton of bands all have similar sounding names? Like Wolf Parade, Wolf Eyes, Wolfmother…. THEY PLANNED IT! Yes, there’s an ultra secret organization that you’re not a part of that decides these things and then tells all its members what to name their bands. Last few years have been animal themes. Next Year? Body parts and food.

Somewhere Anus Full of Wasabi is doing a fist pump.

Radio. Television. And those people who don’t like curse words.
You’re hip and edgy and you want to show the world you mean business by naming your band something that would make your Nana blush with shame. You’re thrilled at the idea of your mom hemming and hawing when trying to avoid telling the relatives the name of her son’s band. Yeah, you’re stoked. Know who isn’t happy with your “edgy” name? Mainstream radio and tv, that’s who. So go ahead and call yourself The F***ing Bastards of Shithead. Just remember that the FCC won’t take too kindly to that and your chances of breaking through to the mainstream just shrunk.

Bad name but they got an 8.6 on Pitchfork! That means something, right?

 The Final Checklist
1. Does your band name sound like a thirteen year old boy came up with it cause it was cool?
2. Are you a thirteen year old boy?
3. If so, continue. If not, you may want to reconsider your life choices that led you to this point.
4. Rename band
5. Disagree with the guitarist about the deeper meaning behind said name
6. Rename band
7. Lose your drummer and bassist
8. Rename your band some variation of previous name
9. Launch your career
10. ???
11. Profit!
12. Sign a record deal
13. Rename band